The Key to Success: Focus
Posted on August 18, 2008 - Filed Under My plan
I’m finally realizing through observation in others and through my own experiences, that you only need one ingredient for success: Focus.
The Secret talks about the law of attraction and how what you focus on and put your energy towards is what expands. I believe this to be true. Determination, passion, dedication, persistence… it all comes down to focus.
Watching the Olympics has been so much fun this past week or so and it’s been especially inspiring to watch Michael Phelps. He has incredible focus and that’s contributed to his success greatly. He doesn’t do much more than eat, swim, and sleep. And while he may be giving up hanging out at the mall with friends on weekends, look at all he’s accomplished by focusing his talents. And how incredibly rewarding and exciting that must feel.
It makes me think about my own life and how it’s easy for me to get scattered and attempt several things at once halfway rather than do one thing really well. I think this is fine sometimes, but more often than not, I’ve found more satisfaction in choosing a couple of things to focus on and do them well. Other, smaller things may fall by the wayside temporarily, but I can always pick them back up easily.
My focus areas for Aug. and Sept. are launching my new blog/business, working out regularly and eating well, and enjoying outdoor, summer activities.
(Fun can be a focus.. 
)
Happy travels!
~Often he who does too much does too little. ~
Italian proverb
Hot August Nights
Posted on August 8, 2008 - Filed Under Miscellaneous, My plan
The evenings in Raleigh lately have been gorgeous and breezy. You can barely tell it’s August although I’m sure it will heat up at some point in the coming days. But for now, it’s heaven. I don’t want to be shut up in my apartment, I want to be out of doors. In the grass, on a beach, at a cafe. My windows are old and are really hard to open. Since I’m determined to have them open anyway, I injure myself every time I attempt to get them to budge. I currently have a cut on my finger, 2 bruises on my legs, and a scraped elbow. All for some fresh air..
My eyelids have been twitching lately. I hear it’s from stress but I’m not stressed. I also hear it’s from looking at a computer screen too much and fluorescent lighting… bingo. So, I’ve turned off as many lights at work as I can yet still, 2 hours into the morning my eyes are twitching and tired from looking at the computer screen. Ack, what to do?
Currently, I’ve been on a major health kick. I’m up at 6 every morning exercising at the Y (due to the heat) and eating mostly fruits and vegetables up until dinner time. This gives me more energy and productivity during the day AND I’m losing a little weight, hurray!
I really like my apartment. When I leave to travel, I don’t want to have to pack up and sell everything. I’m going to try and rent it out furnished. It’s a sweet deal for downtown, only $500 a month for a great space.
I’m working on my travel website in my free time when my eyes aren’t twitching from computer glare. It’s coming along. I’m constantly having ideas for other sites too but I’m trying not to get distracted.
My vision board is still naked. Poor little board. It’s up on the wall all ready to go. I’m still sifting through magazines, reading articles on how to create a vision board, and procrastinating. Sigh, perhaps this weekend.
Oh, my Fresh Tracks application was rejected. But only because they are not taking them anymore as they are now a strictly Canadian travel company targeting Baby Boomers. Oh well! They said they’d be happy to see stories and pictures from my travels in Canada and may even pay me for them so that’s pretty cool. Also, a picture from my flickr account of the Chinese Garden in Frankfurt made it to the final cut for a website/photo/travel site called Schmap. So I may be published soon!
I’m totally excited I’ll be going to 2 summer concerts tonight and Sunday. I simply love live music outdoors. Sunday night is Journey, Heart and Cheap Trick, (woo hoo! I just dated myself) and tonight I’ve been talked into going to Wilco. I don’t know that I even know what kind of music they play but someone has an extra ticket and of course, anythings outdoors with live music on a hot august night works for me! Although, I’ll be missing the opening ceremonies of the Olympics which I always love to watch. Oh well.
Happy travels!
“All the pathos and irony of leaving one’s youth behind is thus implicit in every joyous moment of travel: one knows that the first joy can never be recovered, and the wise traveler learns not to repeat successes but tries new places all the time.” – Paul Fussell
Cruisin’
Posted on July 30, 2008 - Filed Under Miscellaneous, My plan
Hello! Isn’t this a cool pic? One of the items on my travel ‘To do’ list (which is way more fun than any other sort of ‘to do’ list) includes renting a red convertible and drive up the California coast on Highway 1.
So things are going well and I’m still on track with my travel plans for next year. Let’s see…what have I been up to? Well, my cable has been unplugged for the past 2 months and after a couple weeks of withdrawal, I’m getting used to it. In fact, I really don’t know how I ever found the time to watch TV! Once I unplugged it, I found other activities to replace that time and I still don’t have enough hours in the day to do everything I’d like to do. I will have to ‘plug in’ for the Olympics though. Must watch gymnastics and swimming.
I just finished an amazing book for traveler wanna be’s: Tales of a Female Nomad by Rita Golden Gelman. This woman is amazing. She divorced at age 48 and promptly decided she was not going to live down the street from her kids in an apartment and get a real job. So, she sold everything and went traveling around the world. What I love about this book is that she writes it in such a simple manner yet conveys the story deeply. She doesn’t overwrite which seems to be the case with a lot of travel writing. It truly inspired me and made me see even more what it really takes to be happy. Doing what you love and connecting with people. She also has a blog which she most recently updated from the Fly and Tackle shop down the street from her current nomad location. Hilarious.
I’ve been doing some goal setting and creating vision boards. For those that aren’t familiar, a vision board is an actual board you can create and put pictures, words, drawings, etc. up to visualize what you would like in your life. At first I scoffed at this seemingly hokey idea and then I tried putting up a couple of quotes here and there and just having them up and visible really made me think about them more which will hopefully bring more of those things into my life. Simple enough concept, right?
I found this really cool web-site that plans adventure trips called Fresh Tracks. I applied to become an Adventure Ambassador with them. This essentially means you pick an adventure and they will help pay for it as long as you share your story with their readers via writing and pictures. As soon as I saw the application I thought, ‘that’s me!’ I can do that! I’ll let you know how it goes.
I also found another really inspiring blog by a female traveler in her 30’s who quit her corporate job in NYC and traveled around the world for a year and a half. I’m still in the process of reading. I go there when I need a break from work and daydream for a while. Fab girl.
That’s it for now. I’m heading to the beach for a little sun and surf this weekend.
Happy travels!
To get away from one’s working environment is, in a sense, to get away from one’s self; and this is often the chief advantage of travel and change.
~Charles Horton Cooley
Top 5 Reasons Why Traveling Solo Rocks
Posted on July 24, 2008 - Filed Under Nomadism, Travel
I’ve taken solo trips several times now and I can safely say they are not nearly as scary as they first seemed. When I first began traveling solo, I started out slowly. A night here, 2 nights there, and then an entire weekend in the NC mountains in October when the fall leaves were at their peak. That weekend, I couchsurfed with a really cool couple and had an amazing time. I was able to walk alone to walk in the woods peacefully and admire the beautiful changes leaves during the day and then hang out with my hosts and their super nice friends in the evening. That trip sealed the deal for me. Solo travel rocks!
Since then, I’ve taken several solo weekend trips as well as longer adventures to Germany and San Diego. My upcoming travels in the spring will also be solo for the most part, but I’m planning to meet lots of cool people on the way.
Of course, I also love traveling with friends, family or a significant other. There are definite benefits and it’s nice to have someone to share experiences. But sometimes, schedules don’t match up, one doesn’t have a significant other at that time, etc. Does that damper my restless spirit? Nope! I fly solo and enjoy all the perks that entails. Here are my Top 5:
1) You can do whatever you want to do, whenever you feel like doing it.
This is huge. You can eat, sleep, tour, hike, dance, shop, linger whenever you want without having to consider others schedules. If you’re feeling the need for company, you can always find some. If you need some alone time, it’s easy to break away from the gang and do your own thing.
2) It forces you to meet new people.
When you’re by yourself, it’s much easier to chat up a stranger and vice versa. Who would you be more willing to initiate a conversation with? A couple eating their croissants and engrossed in conversation or the gentleman lounging back with his coffee and a smile on his face? Also, you’re likely to need help finding places and doing things while traveling solo and the kindness of strangers usually leads to interesting conversation and possibly a new friend.
3) You’re always in for a surprise.
When planning a trip, I always leave plenty of ‘free time’. This always leads to fun, new experiences. You never know where the day will take you if you stay open. Once I chatted up a guy on the beach. That led to dinner with an amazing view, an evening tour of his cities’ hidden haunts (which I returned to later in the trip) and the best chocolate cake I’ve ever had. I rarely fully schedule my days as I like to have time for ’surprises’.
4) You can become a whole new person.
One of the coolest things about traveling by yourself is that you can become whoever you want to be. Nobody knows you, your habits, your personality yet, and no one is traveling with you to hold you accountable for anything. Don’t dance? Go to a club and bust a move. Normally too shy to talk to a stranger? No worries, you can try being a totally outgoing person for that moment.
Being in a new place with new people definitely makes me braver and brings out aspects of myself that normally lie dormant in Raleigh. No one knows me or is judging me and even if they are, I will probably never see them again! It’s incredibly freeing.
5). The opposite sex.
Nothing like touring a new city with the locals… as in hot men. Nuff said.
The Advantages of Low Rent Living
Posted on July 10, 2008 - Filed Under Freedom, My plan, Simplicity
The following post was written by Alexander Kjerulf. I couldn’t have said it better. Alexander is the ‘happiness at work’ guru and has some really good insights. His blog is great. You can visit him at: www.positivesharing.com
The Top Ten Advantages of Low Rent Living
by Alexander Kjerulf
One of the biggest threats to happiness at work is having too many fixed expenses at home. When you’re completely dependent on bringing home a pay check (or two!) every single month, you’re vulnerable. If work turns out to be unbearable you can’t simply up and leave and take three months without income.
I’ve chosen low-rent living for myself. At first it was through accident rather than planning but now I would never live any other way. Read on to see how it has made me happy at work – and in life.
Some years ago, my wonderful girlfriend Patricia and I were hunting for a new place to live in Copenhagen. We were living in her small, 1-bedroom apartment and we really longed for more space, more rooms and a bigger kitchen. Homes are getting ludicrously expensive in all European capitals including Copenhagen, so we went through a process that is common to many people hunting for a new home:
- We started looking at places within our budget that we could easily afford.
- But those places weren’t really cool so we started looking at more and more expensive places
- Untill we’d reached our threshold of pain and were only considering the most expensive places we could conceivably afford
We actually submitted bids on two different (expensive) homes and narrowly lost out in each case to other bidders. Back then we were devastated – we really had our minds set on those two places. Today we’re incredibly relieved that it never came through. We’re still living in Patricia’s apartment which costs us next to nothing and looking back I can see how much of an advantage that has been for the both of us. Obviously this applies not only to your mortgage or rent but to all fixed expenses. Rent/mortgage just happens to be the largest fixed expense most of us have.
Leaving lots of breathing room in my economy has brought me some huge advantages:
1: Freedom to leave a bad job
When a job doesn’t make me happy, I can quit without worrying about the money. I’ve done it once, Patricia twice. It’s not that we’ve quit at the fist sign of trouble – we have always tried to make it work. But when we’ve realized that a particular job wasn’t going to make us happy, we’ve had the freedom to say sayonara without first finding a new job.
2: Freedom to take a chance
In the startup I’ve been running the past three years I’ve been able to take some chances and focus more on building a happy, sustainable business than on bringing home a big pay-check every month. It has allowed the business to grow organically which has paid off immensely now that the business is up and running.
3: Freedom to do what I enjoy
I can decide to do stuff that lets me learn, meet interesting people or plain have fun but may not make any money here and now. This is a huge boon to me and my business in the long run because it means that I’m constantly developing and learning.
4: Freedom to do what’s right
I can do what’s right rather than what makes me more money. I can decide to work for free for a company that really needs me, but can’t afford me. I can give stuff away if I think people need it. I can set a high ethical standard and not need to worry about having to compromise it for profit.
5: Freedom to work less hours
There’s no pressure on me to work 50, 60 or 80 hours a week. I can if I want to and sometimes I do and if I’d rather work 20 hours one week I can do that. I’ve once and for all left The Cult of Overwork.
6: Freedom to say no to some customers
Some customers just aren’t right for your business. The chemistry is wrong, their needs dont’ match your solutions or they’re just too much trouble. I have the freedom to say no to some customers and yes to the best customers.
All of the above really comes down to short-term vs. long-term planning. Economic freedom let’s you invest in your future by doing things now that make less money, but will eventually make you more.
7: Peace of mind
I spend almost zero time and energy worrying about money – it’s just not an issue. I also don’t need to worry whether the interest rates go up or down half a point. Or whether there really is a housing bubble and house prices are about to start falling. That’s a huge relief and gives me more time and energy for business and life.
8: Focus on what really matters
When I’m not concerned with a bigger home, bigger car or bigger TV I focus on what really matters. My girlfriend, family, friends, business, writing, networking, learning, reading, etc… I waste no time keeping up with the Joneses.
9: Simple living
Living in a small appartment has taught us to own only the things we really need. We’ve been getting really good at throwing or giving away clothes, linens, kitchenware, furniture, knick-knacks etc. that we don’t use regularly. And this is a huge relief because you can form a huge attachment to the things you own and paring them down to only the things you really need teaches you to let go of that. There’s a mental relief and freedom that comes from that. Less stuff in your home = less stuff on your mind.
10: More money for fun stuff
When less money goes into the stuff I own, there’s more money for the stuff I do. Like snowboarding, conferences, travelling and more.
I want to make two things very clear:
1: This is not about being unambitious at work or setting small business goals. I can assure you that my aspirations are as big as the next person’s. It’s about realizing that economic wiggle room frees you to do things and take chances that lead to more happiness and therefore to great results in your work life and your private life.
2: I’m not knocking anybody else’s lifestyle and financial decisions. This is simply an observation of something that I discovered mostly by accident but which works incredibly well for me. Maybe you would be terribly miserable living in a small appartment instead of a huge house.
But I know that many people feel trapped in jobs they don’t like because their financial situation is precarious and leaves them no wiggle room. If that’s the case for you maybe you should consider trying the low-rent life and granting yourself some financial freedom. It’s a huge step towards more happiness at work and in life.
Quick Update
Posted on July 10, 2008 - Filed Under Entrepreneurship, Freedom, My plan
8 things:
1) Bought a new desk off Craigslist. It’s very pretty and inspiring to write/type on. I now need a new pretty, COMFORTABLE chair to sit in because this one is breaking my back.
2) Had another fantastic career coaching session last night. I’m really getting into planning my on-line business now and that’s pretty much all I”ve been thinking about lately. Must get out a bit, be social and such.
3) Almost have credit card debt paid off. That little fender bender in San Diego set me back a bit but I’ll get there. I’ve decided against a much coveted used piano for $300 (plus moving). Yay me. Sigh… I miss piano.
4) Have much better outlook on current job. It’s all in how you look at things and I’m looking at this as great experience, with decent pay, great people, and a little time to do some internet reading at the end of the day. Plus, it will help me reach my goal of becoming cubicle free, ironically.
5) Am planning a beach trip with the fam in Sept. Almost let my restlessness and spontaneous nature get the best of me today by coming a finger punch away from booking a ticket to Seattle because I just feel like going.
6) Common sense and my PLAN kept yelling ‘Don’t do it!” just wait a few months! So I listened.
7) Wondering why I pleaded for summer to come so quickly as it’s freaking hot outside. And humid. Bad for the hair.
Oh! And I unplugged my cable and stored it in a really hard place to dig out. Been getting so much done without it! Correspondingly, upped my Netflix account to 2 a month. Rebekah said ‘welcome to the world’. Hmph.
Happy travels, even if it’s just to your local Harris Teeter. Take the long way ’round… and stop for a popsicle. A loco-pop if you’re here in Raleigh!
Work ethics
Posted on July 7, 2008 - Filed Under Entrepreneurship, My plan
I have this fear that I am lazy when it comes to work. This feeling tends to rear it’s ugly head when I start to get bored with whatever my current job is. I learn all about the processes, ideas, and things going on with the job and then get bored. It then takes an act of god to get me to do the simplest task, which is where I am right now. In my defense, I am an Aquarian and an ENTP (Myers-Briggs) so it’s supposedly in my nature.
I am in awe those in my office who do the most mundane things every day with the most amazing efficiency. Of course, 95% of my co-workers are J’s (judgers for you Meyers Briggs afficiando’s) and I’m a P (for play, o.k. perceiving…) I tend to go for the shortest, easiest way to something. A trait which I hope will serve me more positively than negatively in my entrepreneurial ventures. The thing is, in my work, I really want to do something worthwhile that will help people and provide something of value. I love being part of something larger than myself. I just need constant change and stimulation within my job. Of course, no job is going to be constantly wonderful and stimulating but I believe it should be something you love, feel passionate about, and that doesn’t feel like work most of the time. This is why I’m going to become an entrepreneur. This way, I can be constantly reinventing myself and my business(es). And hire someone else to do grunt/detail work. This will be an experiment of course. There are pros and cons to owning your own business as well as working for someone else but ultimately, having your time as your own I believe will win out for me. We shall see.
I’m curious to know if there are others who feel this way. Is is a Generation X thing?
Also, there is a book that I, of course, snapped up as soon as my eyes landed upon the title called ‘The Lazy Person’s Guide to Success‘ that is fascinating. It’s basically about working smarter and not necessarily harder. He has a lot of good points including: Forget about security and focus on opportunity, simplify your life rather than complicate it, concentrate on things that really matter and be oblivious to most everything else, regularly indulge in a good measure of creative loafing, and live life on your own terms and not someone else’s… among others. Here is an interesting quote from the book:
‘One principal reason why people are so often useless is that they neglect their own profession or calling, and divide and shift their attention among a multitude of objects and pursuits.’ ~ Nathaniel Emmons
Hmm…
As Mother Superior said in The Sound of Music, ‘You must look for your life’. With my work, I feel like I’m not quite there yet, but definitely on the right path. And that feels really good.
Die cube, die
Posted on July 2, 2008 - Filed Under Freedom, My plan, Travel
This pretty much sums up my mood at the moment. I apologize for the photo quality, I took this pic with my cell phone. It is currently 85 degrees, sunny, low humidity (a rarity in July here) and I’m stuck here in this dull, gray, completely lifeless (except for my plants) cubicle. These things should be outlawed. Is there any record of someone actually being creative in one of these things? I feel totally restless and stifled in this atmosphere. Ug. O.k., enough complaining. This is actually a good thing because it reminds me of why I’m on this path and spurs me to work harder towards my goal of being office free and traveling by April 09. Nothing like not being happy with your current situation as an impetus for changing it!
I wanted to travel for the 4th but am staying here in Raleigh. I plan on relaxing, sunning, saving gas money, cooking some healthy food and looking at used pianos. I’m feeling the need to be more creative lately. I will also be thinking/brainstorming/working on my new business.
I’m also wondering if there are any documentaries/movies on solo female travel. I’ve read several books on the subject but I don’t believe I’ve seen a movie. Out of Africa maybe? If anyone can think of one, please let me know!
Oops, here comes my boss. Got to run…
“Security is mostly superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” 
~ Helen Keller
A way to travel…
Posted on July 1, 2008 - Filed Under Nomadism, Simplicity, Travel
This is from the blog of one of my favorite authors, Paulo Coelho. Some intriguing ways to get the most from your travels. I particularly like numbers 5 and 8.
Happy and relaxing travels…
L
Traveling in a different way
When I was very young I discovered that, for me, a journey is the best way to learn. I still have this pilgrim’s soul to this day, and have decided to relate some of the lessons I have learned, in the hopes that they will be useful to other like-minded pilgrims.
1] Avoid museums. This advice may seem absurd, but let us reflect a little together: if you are in a foreign city, isn’t it far more interesting to seek out the present, than the past? Usually, people feel obliged to go to museums, because ever since they were small they have been told that traveling is a search for this type of culture. Of course museums are important, but they require time and objectivity – you need to know what it is you want to see there, otherwise you will come away with the impression that you saw several things which are fundamental to your life, but cannot remember what they were.
2] Frequent bars. Unlike museums, this is where the life of the city can be found. Bars are not discotheques, but places where the people gather to have a drink, pass the time, and are always willing to chat. Buy a newspaper and observe the bustle of people coming and going. If someone speaks to you, strike up a conversation, however banal: one cannot judge the beauty of a path merely by looking at its entrance.
3] Be open and forward. The best tourist guide is someone who lives there, knows everything, but doesn’t work at a travel agency. Go out into the street, choose someone you wish to speak to, and ask him or her for directions (where is such-and-such a cathedral? Where is the post office?) If this bears no fruit, try someone else – I guarantee that in the end you will find excellent company.
4] Try and travel alone, or – if you are married – with your spouse. It will be harder work, no one will be looking after you, but this is the only way of truly leaving your country. Group travel is just a disguised way of pretending to go abroad, where you speak your own language, obey the leader of the pack, and concern yourself more with the internal gossip of the group than with the place you are visiting.
5] Don’t compare. Don’t compare anything – not prices, nor cleanliness, nor quality of life, nor means of transport, nothing! You are not traveling in order to prove you live better than others – your search, in fact, is to find out how others live, what they have to teach, how they view reality and the extraordinary things in life.
6] Understand that everyone understands you. Even if you don’t speak the language, don’t be afraid: I have been in many places in which there was no way of communicating with words, and I always found support, guidance, important suggestions, even girlfriends. Some people think that if you travel alone, you will go out into the street and be lost forever. All you need is the hotel card in your pocket, and – should you find yourself in extreme circumstances – take a taxi and show it to the driver.
7] Don’t buy much. Spend your money on things which you won’t have to carry: good theater, restaurants, walks. Nowadays, with the global market and the Internet, you can have everything you want without having to pay for excess baggage.
8] Don’t try and see the world in a month. It is better to stay in one city for four or five days, that visit five cities in a week. A city is like a capricious woman, who needs time to be seduced and reveal herself completely.
9] A journey is an adventure. Henry Miller said that it is far more important to discover a church no one has heard of, than go to Rome and feel obliged to visit the Sistine Chapel, with two hundred thousand tourists shouting all around you. Go to the Sistine Chapel, but also get lost in the streets, wander down alleyways, feel free to look for something, without knowing what it is. I swear you will find it and that it will change your life.
Ultimate Frisbee kicked my **s
Posted on June 20, 2008 - Filed Under Miscellaneous
I can barely walk today. I couldn’t really walk yesterday either. The culprit? A frisbee.
I’ve been thinking that in all my dreaming, plotting and planning on traveling and experiencing new things, I’ve got to remember that I can do the same here in my home city. So I made good on a long ago promise to myself that I’d try Ultimate Frisbee. Wednesday a co-worker and I played a pick up game at Fletcher Park. I figured, how hard can it be? I can run, throw a frisbee and follow rules… Holy geez. Long story short: It was hard. I ran, no sprinted, for 2 hours straight. I got confused and ran the other way, twice. I thought I might die. I chastised myself for telling myself I was ‘in shape’. I then felt the need to say ‘I won’t be sore tomorrow, I jog 4 times a week’ to my co-worker when she suggested I may feel some pain the following day.
But… it was really fun and I probably sweated out about 2 pounds of water. They invited me to come and play on Sunday but I think I’ll probably still be sore by then! I’m going to give it a go again though as they were a really nice group, (they gently told the newbie that yes, that cone is there for a reason and it means you’re out of bounds, so stop running) and it felt great to be outside after all day in a fluorescently lit cubicle.
Heading to the beach this weekend! Yay! More sun and that soothing, healing ocean water. No sharks, no sharks, no sharks…
Things that hurt, instruct.
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